Imagine – Just Imagine

Imagine being tied in a chair from morning to night and not being able to get out on your own.

Imagine someone parking your chair in front of a huge TV screen that you can’t watch because your eyes have cataracts and are extremely sensitive to light.

Imagine someone leaving you there for most of the afternoon with your body leaning heavily to one side because of your osteoporosis and having a hip lower than the other so the arm of the chair is digging into your ribs more so than usual because the aide on staff didn’t think of propping you up with your special pillow and you don’t have the strength to straighten yourself out.

Imagine your eyes crying all the time because they are weak and sore and the constant flow of tears leaving a salty trail as they trickle down the side of your face and not having any Kleenex to wipe with or being unable to reach for one.

Imagine having your wheel chair tilted back and your foot rests pulled away from the chair instead of under your feet so that your feet are left dangling in the air with nothing to support them and the blood has quit flowing down and your legs are frozen.

Imagine having to go to the bathroom at 1:15 instead of at 2 p.m. which is when a staff member will come around to bring you to do your thing whether you need to or not.

Imagine having the most sensitive ears with a hearing that can hear a pin drop in the next room and everyone assuming your deaf because you can’t move or see very well and having these same people almost shout at you when it’s your turn for them to look after your needs.

Imagine waiting on someone else to brush your hair, brush your teeth, clean your nails or your ears or wash your face.

Imagine having a plate of food deposited in front of you and because of something is not working right in your thinking anymore having the idea that you have to eat absolutely everything that is on your plate and everything they give you to drink whether you like it or not and whether you’re hungry or not and experiencing such pain and discomfort after because you’ve overstuffed yourself forcing everything down.

Imagine hands that can’t grasp or hold things very well anymore and coordination that is out of skew and trying to grab food that keeps sliding from one end of the plate to the other.

Imagine being put to bed and not being able to move to a different position throughout the night, or being able to scratch an itch or cover yourself up more because you’re cold or take the blankets off because you’re too warm.

Imagine never being able to talk loud enough to attract someone’s attention or to be heard unless they are right beside you with their face next to yours listening.

Imagine trying to say things and your mind being all scrambled with thoughts and the words that come out being one of today mixed in with one of yesterday, or words connected to something of 40 years ago, something just said on TV or by the lady sitting behind you and how frustrating that must be.

Some days it’s really hard to see my mother that way and I leave with tears in my eyes and screaming, “Dear Lord, it’s not fair that she should have to stay, please come and take her away.”