This Thing Called Life

I am about to run out of Tim Hortons Pomegranate White Tea. What will life be like without it I wonder? Last year, when I found out they were going to take it off their menu, I went into every Tim Hortons I could find and bought whatever supply they had on hand. I had quite an impressive supply lining my kitchen cupboard for a while but now I’m on my last box and only have a few more servings left. It’s downright shameful that they took that stuff off the market. It was the best! But, there it is, that’s the way life goes sometimes. It’s a process of change and of letting go.
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Days like today make me realize how much the sun is important in my life. It’s a source of energy, of vitamin C, of, get up and go, for me. Life takes a different hue when nothing but big black empty clouds hang around all day like a heavy a thick heavy oil slick lapping onto shore. There’s absolutely no place for the sun to poke through that low ceiling hanging above our head. It feels oppressive like walking around in the dark dingy dirt basement of my childhood home. But, there it is, that’s the way life goes sometimes. It’s a process of trusting - trusting that the sun is still hanging somewhere behind those clouds.
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I went to listen to the talk at the Centre for Spiritual Awareness this morning. I almost didn’t make it because of the time change. I was sitting at my desk with my head phones on, listening to some classical music and writing in my journal, just like I am now, except now, I’m listening to jazz and writing on my computer, when Andree started zipping around the house changing all the clocks. When I asked, “What are you doing?” She said, “Time change. It’s spring. We’re springing ahead.” Just like that, a whole hour, wiped out and gone. But there it is, that’s the way life goes sometimes. It’s a process of paying attention or you miss what’s going on.
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When I left the Sunday morning talk, I went to the Parkinson Recreation Centre and went for a swim for an hour. I’m not a great swimmer by any means but when it comes to water I love it as much as the ducks do. Unlike my partner who floats around like a cork bobbing in the water, I have to work at not sinking like a rock. When I’m swimming in a lake I’m not so brave but within the confines of a pool, I feel safe enough knowing I can reach the sides. I can swim from one end to the other, back and forth and around. But there it is, that’s the way life goes sometimes. It’s a process of learning to flow easily and effortlessly, of letting go enough to feel supported both in the water and in this thing called life.