The Great Debate

What to do? Do I fold or do I plunge in further? Do I give up or do I pump myself up with, “build it and they will come,” kind of pep talks? Do I dedicate a lot of time and effort to create something that so far is showing signs of falling dead in the water or do I let it go? At this point, as time draws closer and not more people are coming forward, I am finding it harder and harder to motivate myself.

It’s not that I mind doing the work but to do the work and not have it go anywhere is rather discouraging. Then there’s the flip side of that where I tell myself, if I don’t do the work then how will it ever become a reality in the first place, hence, the great debate. Do I or don’t I, and at which point do I either, pull the plug, or dive in head first, and give it my all while hoping for the best.

Sometimes I think life would be a whole lot less complicated if I could just go to work and the work would already be spelled out for me. Then there would be none of this constant trying to figure out how to create work or how to go about marketing my work successfully. All I would have to do is show up, do the work and go home once my day is done.

I have moments where I fool myself into thinking that working for somebody else would be easier; that the politics, rules, regulations and restrictions wouldn’t bother me but deep down I know I would be like a caged bird. I know it would be a bugger to adjust to someone else’s demands and schedules after having had the opportunity to work my own hours doing work I love doing.

No, I don’t think a company job is the answer but I do get days like today where I find myself sitting on the fence having this great debate. Do I or don’t I move forward with certain ideas and projects or am I wasting my time and energy? Energy I could be spending elsewhere like working on my own writing every spare minute of the day.