Focused Truths

“Every man, when he gets quiet, when he becomes desperately honest with himself, is capable of uttering profound truths.” - Henry Miller

It’s another off again, on again rainy day. I’m sitting outside in the back yard and constantly shifting the umbrella to either keep my computer from getting wet or keep my face from roasting in the sun. Crazy making? Not at all. I’m used to it. It’s no different than living in a menopausal body with constant heat flashes that bring on a sudden power surge and turns the heat up to 140 degrees or like the drop of dune which plunges to below zero faster than you can say, “nucking futs.” Now, that’s a profound truth, if I ever heard one.

The other profound truth going on for me right now is my ever growing desperate need to travel the writing path and along with that the “knowing” that I can, I will and I am making it so. Right now, I am making the choice to stay focused on my need and my desire to write and in so doing I feel like I am finally, being true to myself. Even just acknowledging this is what I am doing makes me feel grounded and connected instead of feeling like I am floating around in a world where I can’t find my footing. It’s good to be there in this grounded place and right now I have no desire whatsoever to be elsewhere.

I am encouraged by the writing and dedication I’ve given to my writing lately. I am encouraged by the continual support I get from my partner to follow through with this passion that will not, no matter how hard I try, leave me alone. She believes in me and is adamant that I quit denying myself this truth and for that I cannot thank her enough.

One of my daughter’s gave me two rocks for mother’s day. One says, BELIEVE the other says TRUST. I have those two rocks beside me, on my desk and I look at them every day as either I struggle or move smoothly to add more and more words to the piles that I’ve already written. The pile has grown to an overwhelming size over the years and it’s time I do something with it more than just adding another journal to the three trunks full I have already or the hard drive space I’m taking up on my computer.

I KNOW I will do this. This is where the excitement lies – it’s in the KNOWING. This “knowing” is a new place for me. It’s a space I haven’t entered before and it’s a pretty cool place to be – therein lies my profound truth of the day. I know!

And that's the bare (bear) focused truth! (Taken by Pemberton, photo credit Brenda Shaw)