Here you are celebrating your 87th birthday. It’s unbelievable. You know when I look at your facial features I find it hard to believe that you are 87. I am 30 years younger than you and I have more wrinkles on my face than you do. You look good and I know how important that has always been in your life so I’m glad you have this going for you.
You’ve always been a super proud woman always wanting to look good to the outside world. It always seemed to make you feel good inside to look good outside. That’s where you and I differed a lot I suppose. I never cared much about the outside. I was more concerned with finding ways to make my inside world a happy place to be.
Lipstick, earrings, high heel shoes and the latest fashion in clothes never tugged at my heartstrings. I preferred to go for the plaid jacket, the jeans and the runners – comfort was my aim, that and trying to figure out the intricacies of life which revolved around me.
Both of us have always been strong willed (some would say stubborn) people though. Determination to see something through has pushed us forward, sometimes to our own detriment I know, but on the average it’s served us well, each in our own way. Physically strong is another one that’s been kind of our friend and woe both at the same time.
We’ve accomplished a lot, been through a lot, worked hard, sometimes way more than we should have, ignoring the fact that our body was often in pain and that it is the only vehicle we get in this lifetime. I think about that now as I look at you in your wheelchair and I see you confined in a body that you can no longer command to do as you please, to follow your command – a body crippled by the nasty Parkinson’s disease. It’s sad to see you that way.
But you’re still teaching me. I’m learning about the importance of not denying who I am and of listening to the messages my body sends me. I’m learning that differences are not necessarily bad and that they can be the source of my greatest learning and inspiration to move in the direction I need to move. I’m learning that no matter how strong willed or stubborn I can be I have to remain open to taking in new learnings and new experiences and that I can never close the door on love. Love of myself, of you, and of the world I live in.
Mom with her rose corsage I got her for her birthday.
Mom and her three girls - her son Roger will be coming later to see her.
Mom, tuckered out from the celebration and company.
3 comments:
It's nice to see your mother again!
She does look good, you're right.
And nice to see your sisters too, though I've not been lucky enough to meet them, as I was with your mom.
- Kate
Happy Birthday Memere! I sure do hope when I'm in my 80's that I have as few wrinkles as you do!
Thank you for sharing your Mom's birthday with us Annette. I wonder how she feels inside the shell that no longer allows her to part of her outside world? I guess we will never know but I do know that she has a wonderul family who loves her no matter what.
love always,
Phillis xoxoxoxo
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