It's Been Busy

I'ts been so long since I've made a post here I'm sure some of you are wondering if I've dropped off the face of the earth. Janaury flew by faster than I could shake a stick at. I had lots to do including working on Andree's big birthday party.

Andree wrote about her party on our writing group and I've asked her permission to post her writing here. Her writing follows below intercepted with pictures and my comments.

Thank so much everyone for your wonderful well wishes and cards. As promised I have to tell you about my birthday. It was the best birthday ever for me.

Friday, Annette and I had planned a quiet meal out for my birthday. I had said I wanted to have a birthday party for my 60th but seeing as no one ever mentioned anything and that I had seen all the kids for Xmas I was quite content to just be with my honey for my birthday. When she asked what I wanted to do I said I wanted to go out for Italian food. East Side Mario's is just down the road from us so that's where we decided to go.

Sooooo, Friday after Annette worked all day and she wasn't supposed too. We went out for supper with much protest from me as I could see how tired Annette was and I hadn't slept a wink the night before either.

"We don't need to do this tonight," I said. "I made reservations," she said. I said: "Let's just cancel the reservations for tonight and we'll go out some other night when you aren't so tired." "NO!, she said: "I want to go tonight." "Ok" I said, "but I'm not staying long. We're both exhausted and we need to rest."

So off to East Side Mario's we went. I wanted East Side Mario's as Italian food is my favorite food and we don't often go anywhere they serve Italian. We walked in, and there they were!!!!!! All my kids!!!! Every one of them and all their families too!!!! I thought I was going to drop right then and there. You know for the last couple of years I've known that this isn't going to be easy to accomplish anymore.

Andree and I Friday night at the Italian Restaurant

The grands are growing up fast. They're starting high school and will soon graduate and be leaving for university or college or just plain getting on with their live. They'll be doing what we all did and that's normal but I probably won't see them as often as I do now. And my kids will move on and start getting together with their families as they grow and so won't be meeting up with their brother's and sister's families like they do now. That's how it should be. But it’s also sad to know that, that is what is normal and will happen. So for me to see them all there. Just for me. That even the oldest grandson who is almost 17 and a recluse showed up for moi, now that was special. I really wasn't expecting anything like that.

You can't see them all but here's part of the family. The children were sharing a table right behind us.

After supper everyone came over to the house. We live in a small, small, house and so it’s interesting to try to fit 16 people into a living room 9x19. It’s fun though. We did it anyways and played cards and everyone talked at once and we laughed and yelled and argued and through it all we managed to love each other and respect each other and forgive each other for our differences and accept each other just the way we are. I know we are a rambunctious bunch and noisy but that's ok to me.

We are alive, we have differences, we are accepting and we value our differences just as much as we value our sameness. We are glued together with the stuff of life. We are glued just as much by our difference of opinions as we are by the things we have in common. That's the beauty of this family. I know that people outside looking in on us must think that we are just a noisy bunch. Let them think what they want, for us it works and that's all that counts in the end.

So Friday night after I determined when everyone was leaving, I started asking about the plans for the next day. Making all kinds of suggestions about what we could be doing (skiing, tobogganing, movies, bowling), I was full of what I thought good suggestions.

You have to know that my nearest child lives 7 hours away from here. In Calgary. She drove in the night before with her three kids. Ray my youngest lives in Edmonton. That's a ten hour drive! He flew in with his brothers and their families. Denis and Tracy and their two boys, live up in the Peace Country which is another five hours drive north of Edmonton. They drove five hours to get to Edmonton and then flew to Kelowna. Charles also lives up there too and they left at 5 in the morning drove to Edmonton with three kids and caught a plane and flew in Friday. So Friday morning while I was feeling miserable and tired because I never slept the night before, Annette was "working" (she was really doing other stuff), and the kids were all arriving. Me I was in limbo which is exactly where they wanted me. Clueless in Kelowna.

I was a bit put off because no one seemed to think any of my suggestions was good enough. Finally we decided that breakfast was at my house in the morning around 10 am and we would then decide what else we would do Saturday. So they all went to their respective hotels. Annette and I went to bed exhausted.

I was a bit worried about getting up early so we could go shopping and buy some food to feed the "motley crew" in the morning. I was told it was all under control and not to worry about it and for the first time in my life I didn't worry. I was proud of that. I let it go and let everyone do what they wanted to do. It was wonderful. At 9:30 Annette's sister showed up with all the doings for a most wonderful brunch. Annette and Lorraine had spent Friday cooking up a storm and other stuff (like decorations and getting a cake and all kinds of things, too numerous to name here).

Morning came and at breakfast it was disclosed to me that we were going to have family picture taken. Yup!!!! You heard me. Real professional family pictures. I am not one for taking pictures of people. Mainly because I don't like my picture taken but I've been bugging the kids for a number of years now to have a family picture of their families. So having our picture taken as a family and then having a picture of each of their families is a wonderful thoughtful gift for me at this time. Pictures were at one o'clock and we managed to get there on time. The afternoon was pretty well taken up there.

Saturday morning breakfast with all the family in our little house.

Annette and I had a previous engagement to go to (which I really, protested against going to after my kids got here). I didn't want to leave my family. I intended to take advantage of being with them every minute of the time they were here. “No,” I was told, “it’s okay you guys go and we'll all meet here after you get back.” YEAH!! right. I'd go but now I was suspicious.
So off we went to our previous engagement. I walked into Heartland (which is a facility owned by one or our friends) it has a small hall for parties and such. She'd phoned a couple of days before to ask if we would come to a party her and her partner were giving there!!!!!!! Yeah right!!!! Too convenient I thought but I didn't want to spoil it for the grands and the kids. I went along. I was floored when I walked in because not only were my kids there but many of my friends too. Music made especially for me but my oldest son. A power point presentation made by my daughter and granddaughter. Just for me and about me.

It was awesome. We had a wonderful time. A wonderful supper, gifts, a piñata, an entertainer, dancing, a fire outside for roasting marshmallows (it was minus 10 but the kids loved it anyways), friends that I have made since I moved here and my brother and his wife, and Annette's family and her daughter and son in law who came just for my birthday all the way from Calgary too. How special is that. Ryan and Jody kept saying they were coming to ski and I thought it was kind of nice for them to drop by. But really that was a lie they flew in to be at my party!!!!!!! Wow that was a really kicker for me.

Andree and her brother and sister-in-law.

I was overwhelmed. You know after all the partying and going out and doing things with the family and knowing that Jody and Ryan showed up just for this occasion. Wow what else can a person say? It’s like my dream came true. It’s what I've lived my life for. I've always wanted to form a glue for my family because my birth family came apart at the seams and it seems like there’s nothing left of us. But I've worked hard at trying to teach my children a different set of values. I've wanted for them to be individuals in their own right but to feel they have family to be there for them. And they keep proving to me that maybe I'm getting somewhere.

My daughter Jody and my son-in-law Ryan who also flew in for Andree's birthday.


To me the greatest gift is knowing that they were willing to all be there and that it was important for them to be with me. You know, my kids could have thought for days and days (and I'm told they did) and they couldn't have come up with a better birthday present then the one they gave me. Coming together, (all of them) for family. That's the greatest gift of all. That's what my goal has been about. That's what my life has been dedicated to.

We've been through some rough times together the kids and I and it’s wonderful to think that in spite of all of all, we've been able to form a strong family and this is like proof of that.

Throughout all of this there was Annette in the background, co-ordinating it all, working, and doing all that needed to be done because the kids were so far away. Knowing the acceptance level there with the kids is another big gift. And the lies that were necessary too were a big gift to me.

I hope I haven't bored you all too much with this story. I just had to share it with people. To me it was the best thing ever. I don't know how anyone can ever top this.
Namaste
Andree

Some of the invited guests at the Saturday night dinner and party.

Andree taking the first whack at the pinata.

Andree and the cake.

Opening gifts and cards.

The grandchildren roasting marshmallows by the campfire.