My Daughter's Wedding

The flower girl - my grandaughter Sadie

The ring bearer - my grandson, Cole.

The bride and groom - Brenda and James

The bride, groom and her parents.

Check out that back drop!


The bride, groom and parents on both sides.


Bride and bridesmaids


And the deed is done!



Cool shades!


Three sisters - my daughters.

Three sisters - my sisters.

To Brenda and James on their wedding day.

I consider it an honor to be asked to speak at my daughter’s wedding. This is my third time at doing this and, since she’s the baby, it’s my last opportunity to do so.

Being the youngest Brenda often found a way to pull at my heart strings and carve her place in the family tree and one of the ways she used to do that is by using every chance she got to plug in these words: “I’m the baby, gotta love me.”

There are some things we can’t change, nor would we want to. Yes, you are the baby and we do very much love you - and that is why all of us are gathered here today to celebrate this very special day with you and this wonderful man, who you’ve chosen as your partner in life James.

I remember talking to Brenda on the phone one night, after James had just started being part of the picture and putting her through the same drill every one of my girls got when a new beau came into their life. “Who is he? Where does he come from? What does he do? How old is he? What does he do for a living? Is he a descent guy? What do you like about him? After which I’d say. Well, he better be good to you or else he’s going to have to deal with me.”

A few months down the line, when James was still part of the picture, I remember asking her, “So what’s going on with this guy and is he treating you right?”

“Yes Mom,” she said. “He’s very special and he’s definitely a keeper.”

Now I don’t know where James was with all this at that point in time, I didn’t get to question him, so I don’t know if he had already decided that Brenda was also a keeper. I guess in the end it really doesn’t matter which came first, the chicken or the egg kind of thing, but I’ll always remember the phone call from Brenda I got several months later.

James and her had come to Pemberton to explore this place, they had already decided, sight unseen, would be the place they would call home. I answered the phone and the first thing I heard was Brenda crying. My mother bear defences went up and I was already putting my shoes on by the time she finally managed to tell me that this was the most wonderful moment of her life.

James had given her a ring and had asked her to marry him and she was calling to tell me how surprised and how absolutely ecstatic she was. Both of us babbled and sniffled and cried and tried to hear each other through gargled voices. I’m not sure now what we all said but it was a precious moment we shared - one I’ll always remember. It was as heart warming to share in their joy then, as it is to be part of their special day today.

Brenda, what can I tell you about Brenda - my self-disciplined, self-directed, determined, tender hearted, compassionate, loving and caring Brenda. Those of you who know her also know that it’s not only the mother in me speaking when I say these things. Who else would make a pet out of a chicken which showed such devotion that every afternoon at 4.00 o’clock it would walk up the drive and sit and wait for her to get off the bus when she got back from school? Who else would diligently care for her cats, her dog, her hamster and her hedgehog? Who else would be disciplined enough to stay at home and teach herself through high school and later to teach herself through computer programming and the designing of web pages?

I admire you Brenda. Not only for the beautiful woman you’ve become but because you chose to, and had the courage to, work through some personal challenges and fears. You struggled through some difficult years. I remember a time when I was sitting with you in a coffee shop in Edmonton and you were hurting so bad and telling me how scared you were. My heart was breaking for you and all I could do was hold you close and wipe your tears. But as difficult as it was, you pulled through. And perhaps, because of your own experiences you have an even bigger compassion and affinity, for others who struggle too.

Oh, and let’s not forget your experience with a heart that decided to beat too fast and resulted in two “5 hour,” heart surgeries, and the hilarious episode, and never ending story, of coming back from the operating room with panties on your head. Maybe that’s when the changes started happening. Maybe with the new hat came a new focus – one of believing in the power you had to manifest your dreams and to make them a reality.

And indeed, a lot of that happened when you moved to Calgary. You stayed focused, you believed, you had faith, you went for what you wanted, and you didn’t get side tracked. You got your education and followed your dream to become a master herbalist, you met James, the guy who you said was definitely a keeper and who obviously compliments who you are because, ever since the two of you have met, I’ve never seen you happier.

It was beautiful to watch the two of you take a trip of a lifetime together, watch you set your sights on where you were going to get married and where you were going to work and live and here you are. Here’s something I’d like to leave with both of you as you start sharing your life together.

The most important skill you can ever have in life and the most important thing you can ever do for each other is to listen. Listen to your inner voice. Listen to what your heart is saying. And most importantly in your life as a couple, listen to each other.

James, you are a lucky man but Brenda is a lucky woman too because in you she’s found a compassionate, loving and kind person who knows the importance of a loving and nurturing relationship. Welcome to our family.

I want to say thank you Mr. & Mrs. Shaw for having such a wonderful son and for being a source of love and family for Brenda as well. A toast to the bride and groom ......... To the daughter whom I have loved for a lifetime, and to the brand new son whom I already love with all my heart.

With love, Mom