100 and Counting

This morning I started journal #100. In honor of this landmark I splurged on a journal I found in a shop the other day. I walked through the door spotted this journal, went to it, picked it up and immediately claimed it as my own. Here’s a picture of it. The artist’s name is Liliana Kleiner from Salt Spring Island, BC.

Who would have thought that when I decided to start keeping my journals and I turned the page and wrote # 1, that I would, years later, turn the page and write #100. One day maybe I will line them up on a book shelf and stand back to see what they look like standing next to each other like little soldiers who have gone to war for me. They’ve marched through life with me, bearing witness to my hopes, dreams, fears, hurts, joys triumphs and love.

It’s funny how I’ve changed over the years. In the beginning I used to look for different places to hide my journals. I was always fearful someone would read my words and judge me, or worse yet, be hurt by what I had written. I don’t have that fear anymore. Now I leave my journal wherever. If you should choose to pick it up and flip it open then you should be prepared to deal with what you read.

What I’ve come to realize is expression changes me. Who I was when I sat down to write those words is not who I am once I finish writing - for it’s in the writing that change occurs and my moment gets transformed. Makes me think I’ll just have to keep on writing.