I woke up early this morning. It’s hard to sleep when my mind keeps wandering, wondering and wishing, as it often does especially at this time of the year. Today is the last day of November and December, with its many nuances, is already poking its head around the corner. It’s waiting
impatiently for a chance to burst forth and catch up to humanity who have already plunged head first into preparations for the holiday season. My mind travels to things I notice now that I never used to notice before. I catch glimpses of those who like me pretend to be busy or make detours around the different Christmas conversations and questions that pop out everywhere. Are you done your Christmas shopping yet? Did you buy your tickets for the Christmas party? Are you having people over for Christmas or are you going somewhere?
It’s a time of mixed blessings that comes in bitter sweet realizations. Some people have to look deeper and further for gifts that are harder to find. Not all gifts come in colorful wrapped packages neatly tied with sparkling golden ribbons and bows. Some are not wrapped and are very much harder to find. They are hidden in far away corners beneath the branches, under some tears, a hug, and a lonely heart. The kind of gifts, which remain unheard over the din of Christmas or get swept under the mountain of torn wrappings scattered on the living room floor.
My mind drifts to days past, to the young man who tried to slash his wrists, who struggled and made his way through detox, treatment and back to work and who has now fallen off the band wagon and who desperately needs to climb that very same mountain again.
I’m haunted by thoughts of a classmate pawning personal belongings to get enough food in his stomach to make it through another day of study yet warmed by someone placing some of their own much needed money in his hand and sending him off to the grocery store. I’m haunted by thoughts of Christmas party tickets selling for $15.00 and of those who would love to go but the cost make them say, “I have other plans.” Thoughts of people buying for others and those who watch and wish they could be doing the same.
The snow continues to pile outside the window where I sit at my computer writing and thinking of my own dilemma with a holiday that held the promise of travel and visits and dreams and plans that have gone astray. And so it is that my mind wanders, wonders, and wishes many thoughts about the holidays yet I am humbled by all the little things that matter and make a difference along the way.
Writefully Yours
Annette
2 comments:
There are so many things that money can not buy. I think the best gifts that can be given are the ones that don't cost a cent. This is a time for everyone to remember that and feel the most important thing of all - the love and health of all friends and family - hold that close and know that nothing else matters!
I was reflecting on how Christmas often brings financial stresses for many people. Sometimes they don't realize how much until the bills start coming in January.
This year we are fortunate to have extra money (and few bills). But I find I still get stressed about the whole season - Christmas cards, Christmas shopping, Christmas baking, Christmas decorating, Christmas parties, etc. I have to keep reminding myself that those are not the important things.
Christmas shouldn't just be a frenzied blurr of activities. It's about slowing down, remembering God and the gifts he has given you and in turn blessings others with those free gifts of love and acceptance.
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