On the Grid

“Stay on the grid of your excitement.... ” I like this statement, it appeals to me. I love to be on the edge of newness – it excites me.

I was reading the other day about someone staying on the grid of their excitement – following their blue skies – listening to their intuition and I started asking myself about the blue skies of my life and how intuition has or hasn’t played a role.

What does it mean for me to follow my blue skies? There are blue skies where I intend to be one day – living in a cabin by a creek, surrounded by mountains and trees. There will be nature all around and people will come and share this magical place of peace and serenity with us. They will come to discover and live the truth of who they are.

Then I started asking myself if I have followed my blue skies before and I realized that on the psychological level, every time I made the effort to be real, to be true and to speak my truth I was following blue my skies.

On the physical level it’s every time I took myself to places of nature and of connection and meaning. I absolutely crave for and need all of this in my life. Without connection or purpose I am aimless and empty like a feather blowing in the wind.

On the emotional level blue skies are expressed through a sense of gliding, of not knowing yet of feeling compelled to move in a certain direction and just allowing things to evolve.

As far as intuition goes I believe I have followed my intuition a lot over the years but now I find it is scary to trust my intuition in the plan of my life. Whereas I used to think, “so what” if I make a mistake or I fail, now I’m at a point in my life where I feel there is no room for mistakes.

I’ve also allowed my present relationship to keep me from following my intuition because I am no longer the only one in the equation. (Yet none of this comes from my partner – in fact I am encouraged to follow my intuition. It is my own issues.) I’ve become frozen out of a sense of loyalty to provide stability and financial well-being. If I screw up and there is only me it’s not so bad but if I screw up and I’ve brought someone else along with me then I’ve really messed up. This fear keeps me stuck in my tracks, blurs the voice I need to listen to and it makes it difficult for me to hear it and make appropriate decisions.

I know that my blue skies are where I can write and where I can continue to help people. Where that is in physical location – I don’t know. I would love to be sought out as a therapist who works with people to get them through their healing through the use of nature and writing because that’s my passion, that’s what I’m good at, that’s what I genuinely love doing.

So now I’m being asked: What is a wacky direction that keeps calling me in real life? And my answer to that is: to live in a cabin by a creek where I’m surrounded by nature’s healing elements - a place where others can come and spend time, to heal, to relax, to be fed in their mind, their body and their soul. I want o offer one on one, and group opportunities to those who are interested in discovering themselves and I also want to be able to offer this to anyone who needs it and desires it regardless of their income level.

Another question I am being asked is what is intuition? For me intuition is a voice inside that keeps repeating and won’t leave me alone. It’s something like the kid pulling on my pant leg desperately trying to get my attention and who just won’t let go until I do. With paying attention comes a feeling of excitement, of being on the edge of an adventure, of doing what I need to do, of moving forward. All of this is part of my intuition. Intuition is an irresistible drawing force that begs me to follow and an inner knowing that I must trust the process, that the steps will be revealed to me one at a time.

So now I ask myself – when I am most intuitive, and the answer is when I take the time to be. When I write. When I am out in nature. When I go for walks. When I take time alone. When I nurture my spiritual side. When I am true to myself.