The End of Week Two

Last night was the end of week two on Weight Watchers. I’ve lost another 2.6 pounds for a total of 6.4. I did manage to get more walks in. I hope to be able to keep up with this week as well. On average, it’s been pretty good. Incorporating these new eating habits is like learning how to walk again. I’m happy with the results though. More to go, but I‘d say I’m well on my way.

Business has slowed down this week. I haven’t been as busy as I’d like to be with clients but I’ve been busy just the same. There’s always something to do, something to prepare, a meeting to attend, running around to do, reading to catch up on, errands to run, places to go, and things to look after. Life is never dull that’s for sure.

I haven’t received any of my books that are on order yet. I’m watching the mail like a hawk though. They’ve got to be here anytime now. Maybe today. Once they get here I’ll be fighting the urge to hunker down in my comfy chair with my down filled blanket and not come out from under their except for food, drink and bathroom breaks. A pile of new books always makes me crave a cabin somewhere out in nature with a nice wood fire burning inside.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately, processing stuff, dismantling and putting back together. I am wondering about my thoughts, my beliefs, my ego and how all of it fits together. I'm thinking how "love, connection and truth" are words that are so hugely important for me, in who I am and what I aspire to bring to people. And, I'm thinking about the conversation I had with a friend today and about the concept of how what we sometimes aspire to give to others, is perhaps what we need the most to give to ourselves, or what we need to allow ourselves to live. I feel like this is what I strive to do every day. Do I have to go deeper?

I think about those words and how it’s the place I'm always aspiring to live from, to be, to teach, to convey through everything I do. Maybe I need to bring it to deeper levels in my own life. Maybe I need to breathe it, live it, embody it, become it even more to let it go even deeper. Maybe I need to ask myself every moment of every day, what would love do? What would truth have to say? How can I feel connected? In every moment, how does all of this play itself out in my life?

"Heaven starts within." I read this statement the other day and it stayed stuck with me and now I question myself more closely. How deep is this truth, love, connection within myself? Can I touch it? Do I breathe it, embody it and live it on a daily basis at the level I’d like to live it or is there something blocking it from full expression? Is there some letting go that needs to happen, maybe even some forgiveness with three or four people who come to mind where I feel things were never really brought to a close? Questions, ponderings of the mind that make me look at life and how it all fits together. I’m like the ground hog poking its head out of its holes to come up for air and to see just how far it’s travelled underground.